Living with CF is a strange world. I have been advised for most of my life not to be within 6 feet of someone who can empathize with me most because of the risk of bacterial cross-contamination. I have seen social media accounts of friends taken over by their families because they passed from this disease. I have to be checked on quarterly. My life has been consumed with daily treatments and meds since the day I was born.
Yet I’m still here and it hasn’t escaped me that a lot of people aren’t. I feel the survivor’s guilt quite often and not just with how I live but with what I say. I’ll never say that hard work and treatment adherence are solely why I’m here. There are other CF Warriors who could say the same thing but they were not as fortunate as me. I will never say that people who died from cystic fibrosis lost the battle. They didn’t. Their bodies just finally gave out.
I tell myself quite often that those who preceded me would say to push away the guilt and take advantage of the moments. I’m trying and for the most part I’ve been successful.
When you see me posting a picture when I’m feeling strong or hopeful, please know that my intent is not to brag or to incite compliments. The purpose is to help others who may be having some hopeless days too and show them whether it’s running a few miles or just walking to the mailbox that their dreams are still there for the taking.
For any of you experiencing survivor’s guilt whether you have CF or not, I hope you can do the same. Please stay positive and let’s find a cure for this disease someday soon so the guilt stops with us.
Live your dreams and love your life.
Andy